Meghan Markle & Mixed Race Myths
With the birth of baby Archie drawing attention to the fetishization of mixed race children, I’ve been revisiting a conversation I had almost a year ago with a white woman (let’s call her Becky) about the the now Duchess of Sussex, Meghan Markle.
It was a few days before Markle’s highly publicized wedding to Prince Harry, and Becky wondered what all the fuss was about. I explained that for me, a brown girl who grew up with almost no representation, seeing a woman of color becoming a princess meant a lot. While acknowledging the painful history the royal family played in colonization and disenfranchisement of many people of color, I was still excited for little brown and black girls to see someone who looked like them in such an influential position.
Becky responded by saying something along the lines of “She (Markle) doesn’t even look black. She probably doesn’t really get discriminated against. She just looks ethnic.”
There was so much wrong with this response that I was stunned. I couldn’t collect all of the microaggressions hurled at me fast enough to speak. After replaying the incident in my head dozens of times, here are some things I’ve realized that people, even those who consider themselves allies, may not understand about the mixed race experience:
When you have been constantly represented your whole life it’s hard to understand how much representation affects you. White people often underestimate the importance of representation because they don’t know what it’s like not be represented. Studies show that children who view media in which their race is represented positively, show an increase in self esteem. Children who view media in which their race is absent of representation or represented stereotypically, show a decrease in self esteem. We learn who we are and what we are capable of by how our environment interacts with us. A lack of representation tells us that we are unimportant or that we do not belong. Accurate representation is hard to find for all minorities, but can be especially difficult for mixed kids and as a result they often feel the need to choose a group to belong to. Meghan recalls growing up and seeing doll sets of black families and white families - neither of which looked like her own. For me, growing up was repeatedly being compared to Princess Jasmine or Pocahontas because my classmates had actually never seen another brown woman.
“Ethnic” is a term of otherness. Using “ethnic” to mean non-white assumes that whiteness is “standard” or “normal” thus absolving white people from ethnic classification. It may be shocking but, white people have ethnicities too. The careless misuse of the word is not only ignorant and harmful, it’s just plain lazy. Unfortunately up until recently it’s been commonplace in conversation as well as marketing. It was only a few months ago that my local Studio City CVS renamed their “Ethnic Hair” section.
Racism is an institution not an interaction. Racism is a structure of discriminatory and oppressive practices. Of the roughly 17 generations since the beginning of slavery, 10 of those were under slavery, and 5 under Jim Crow. That means white families have had 17 generations to accumulate generational wealth and social capital, while African-Americans have had 2. Not only that, but many of those white families had the free labor of slavery to exponentially grow their fortune and status. No matter what Meghan looks like, she and her family have been affected by this country’s history of slavery and discrimination from the very beginning of her life. Inequality in healthcare meant that as a black woman, her mother was 3-4 times more likely to die from complications during pregnancy and birth. Her grandparents lived in Cleveland Ohio at the peak of discriminatory housing practices that pushed African Americans into slums and stymied upward social mobility. Her great grandparents worked as a bell hop and elevator operator at a whites only hotel. Her great great great grandfather was a slave. Even if Meghan hadn’t faced interactional discrimination (which she certainly has), her life and circumstances would still be greatly affected by the structure of discrimination that is American racism.
By assuming an experience of a minority you are effectively silencing them and contributing to the oppression of said minority. The greatest shock of the exchange was how thoughtlessly it was assumed that Meghan has not faced discrimination without any empirical evidence. A quick Google search would have showed the surge of vitriolic and racist attacks on Markle after her engagement to the Prince, but did Becky even pause to do that? No. She created a narrative for another woman’s life out of thin air, because it’s easier to do than actually learning or to acknowledging another’s suffering. Not only did her assumption erase Meghan’s real story, but in the process, robbed me of mine. Stating incorrectly that Meghan had not faced discrimination because of her ethnic ambiguity was also saying that I hadn’t due to mine. Here I was, a wealth of experience and knowledge about the subject, a much better gauge on the discrimination of mixed women, but she was far more interested in her own opinions than my actual experience.
Microaggressions are violent acts. I’m still angry about this interaction. I have yet to receive an apology for this interaction. Some may think it’s petty to hold a grudge, but it is not a grudge, it is a wound. This incident was just one of dozens of problematic microaggressions this women had spoken to me, and one of thousands I’ve faced in my life. By definition a microaggression is “statement, action, or incident regarded as an instance of indirect, subtle, or unintentional discrimination against members of a marginalized group such as a racial or ethnic minority.” They can range from touching someone’s hair without consent to asking “what” they are. Each one is like being jabbed at with a rod, and enough of them can create lasting damage and trauma.
I don’t think Becky was intentionally harmful or intentionally spreading harmful ideas. I don’t think that is the intention of most majority members in their interactions with minorities. It’s okay if you don’t know everything about someone else’s experience - you can’t. But ignorance is no longer an excuse. Use your resources and do your research before letting, at best stupid, and at worst dangerous, comments out of your mouth. And remember, when you don’t know something, the greatest thing you can do is to not speak and instead listen.
Written by : Trish Hosein